When suffering is present in your life the weight of everything seems to change. Things that seemed important and necessary lose their heft and give way to a tenuous lightness of being. For a time everything is nebulous and nothing goes as planned. Change is a constant companion and even the most trivial of things are confounding. For example, you have no real answers for even the simplest questions of life.
"How've you been?"
"What are you up to these days?"
"What's going on?"
These types of questions, mostly intended as conversation starters, become philosophical curveballs that freeze you in your tracks. Small talk becomes big talk. You can't find the energy to exchange even the most common of pleasantries with the person you're talking to.
This is why I've become fragile --not necessarily because of who I am, but because of my surroundings. When everything around you turns into fine china and you realize that you're the bull you either cause a lot of damage, or you learn how to tiptoe around.
I remember meeting with people in the past who told me that they were in a fragile state. My first thought was always about them and their lack of moxie and determination. I would attempt to help them rebuild their lives from the inside out. I never paid much attention to their surroundings and how that may have affected them.
I never realized how strong fragile people actually are.
I have a new found respect for the fragility of life. It did not choose me, rather I had to choose it because I was breaking everything around me.