Purpose. Action. Results.
These are words that many people (including myself) long to be known by. They are coveted, epitaph-worthy words. To be identified by these kinds of terms means that in this life you have probably accomplished much.
For as long as I can remember I have been a person of change. For me, change was a direct byproduct of living a life full of action and results. The opposite of a life of change, of course, would be a casual life full of stagnancy and purposelessness. I believed (and preached) that change was necessary -just like the changing of the four seasons in a calendar year.
A while back though the word "season" started to lose it's impact.
When I would be talking to someone and I'd say that I was in this or that season of life, the word seemingly had no weight. It felt tinny and condescending - like I was paying homage to a term that never wanted to be used that way in the first place. Somewhere along the way I confused things and began to carelessly jumble up the concepts behind words like season, change, action, direction, purpose, identity, faith, reason, job. etc.
Rather than making great strides down the highway of a result-oriented life I found myself constantly retreating back from dead-end side streets. I had lost my way and that's when it happened-
I slipped into neutral.
Neutral wasn't all that bad, it was just different. I wasn't like the waitress lying flat on her back in the middle of a crowded diner (see 1/3 post: fallen). No. I was more like the waitress five to six months before she fell.
PS: I thought about using the word stalled as a title for today's post. But stalled carries a connotation of throw-your-hands-up because you don't know what to do next. In that neutral space I knew what to do, I just wouldn't do it.