There is an immense amount of work that goes into inventing something. Whether you're trying to prototype the world's first flying automobile or write the final chapter in your latest manuscript, creating something out of nothing can be a daunting task. Throughout history some of our most famous inventors were zany, neurotic recluses -mostly because they gave themselves over entirely to the purposes of invention. Their deep desire to invent often drove them to the brink of madness. So what does that say about people that would try for a reinvention?
I am currently attempting to reinvent myself.
Reinvention is not as edgy and cool as one might think. It's actually been a fairly painful process. Most likely because I allow myself to think about the previous iteration (Jason 1.0) and I fear that nothing will be as it was. Reinventions are not updates, they are not improvements upon something that was 85 percent right.
Reinventions are deconstructed journeys in the other direction.
There is deep sorrow involved. Guilt, resistance, repentance, doubt - these are all commonplace when reinventing oneself.
The hardest part about all of this is I am not sure if I ordered this reinvention, or if it was ordered for me. In either case I know that a reinvention should produce a different outcome, but it's not the outcome that I fear the most, rather it's the process of getting there that is so terrifying.