I am not a quiet person by nature. As a communicator, I employ passion and volume to accentuate significance. I have a voice that carries and I've rarely been afraid to use it. When I drive in my car I prefer the volume up as opposed to down. When I watch movies, I want to be surrounded by sound. I have grown very accustomed to the whirring of a fan running at night when I sleep. Our house is on a busy highway and I’ve never minded the road noise. Externally speaking, I have no need for quietude. Internally though things have changed – it is not as noisy inside as it once was.
Some might consider it a blessing to be set free from the internal monologues of life but this uncomfortable noise-free zone has made me wary. I’m not all that enthusiastic about it. Maybe it’s because I have always trusted my own voice. No matter what the situation or the opportunity around me was, I knew I would have the last say. My inner noise was better than your inner noise kinda thing.
The turmoil of the last few years has silenced me.
I am learning that there’s a difference between quiet and silent. I can always add noise to a quiet life, but so far I haven’t been able to make this silence go away.