Whenever I think about what I should be doing at this stage of my life, or where I should be on the "sliding scale of successfulness", the word thriving comes to mind. I've been on this earth long enough and I've had plenty of experience and opportunity --to the point that I should be out in front with the wind at my face.
The mere fact that I am not thriving, but only just surviving, has become an unwanted reality.
Survival isn't all that bad if you're stranded on a deserted island, or lost at sea. In those scenarios the best you could hope for is to stay alive. In fact books have been written and movies have been filmed about people who just barely survived and they were considered heroes.
How come my survival doesn't feel very heroic? Why does it feel like being a survivor is last on the list of wanted lifestyles?
THEM: "So, what are you doing currently?"
ME: "Oh, I am just trying to survive right now."
THEM: "Sorry to hear that..."
It's hard to be a survivor when everyone around you is doing so much more than that. By all appearances they are thriving. Thriving in life. Thriving in their marriage. Thriving in their social media posts. Thriving in their vacations. Thriving in etc. etc.
I know that a lot of that is surface-level analysis and if I were to dig deeper I would surely unearth a different outcome, but I don't have the time to do that because I am just trying to survive.
I need to learn that within the right context, survival can be more than enough.
After all, the opposite of surviving isn't thriving.
The opposite of survival is death.